Wednesday 8 May 2013

Sex for Chocolate? (So Sweet)

  Considered the sweetest, can Chocolate replace a sexual appetite? Whether sex be a hourly, daily, weekly, monthly or even yearly craving, does filling the mouth with a Mars bar or Cadburys flake remove its pangs? Scientists, who experiment everywhere, but probably never in the bedroom, have produced some interesting facts.
Chocolate-contains Phenyl-ethylamine, (quite a mouthful), and this chemical is released into the brain whenever things become frisky or romantic. To avoid a chemistry lesson, I will simply say that its snowball effect can lead to a most satisfying orgasm. However, before these sexual highs can flood a person’s body, they need a catalyst to shoot them out. Chocolate, is that very catalyst. Experts say that Chocolate Fingers opening Chocolate Buttons before helping themselves to Double Deckers is foreplay at its most erotic.

All of this brings me back to the original question: Is Chocolate capable of feeding a sexual appetite? There is a reason I ask, returning home one evening last week, I discovered my girlfriend curled up on the rug dressed only in underwear.

“You won’t believe how Black Magic can satisfy me,” she moaned.

She was acting extremely strange, and when I opened the wardrobe I discovered her secret. Whips, Cadburys Walnut Whips to be precise, but not only that, a Turkish Delight was laying across her Fudge. Being open minded, I felt there must be something in what these Scientists are saying, yet there is a ‘but’ coming. A substitute is meant to replace something of a similar ilk. Now, I can state quite honestly, we have NEVER had that amount of sex.

No longer too tired, her mouth devours her new love all night long. And talk about double penetration! With a Flake in one side and a Curly Wurly in the other, I had no idea she could use her mouth with such passion. So, just as a Scientist would, I will finish with a conclusion.
 If you suspect your partner is having an affair, pray it's not with Chocolate. Whereas a fling with a human may only be brief, I conclude that Chocolate is to love, honour and obey.

                                Big Ben.                                  There is always that exceptionally well hung individual in the sho...