When I won the lottery I thought all my problems were solved. I'd no idea of the mental stress that came with £12m. Lottery advisors suggested I should enjoy, but not waste my fortune. Problems started only a few days later when I was forced to make an agonising decision.
Having won a vast amount on the Saturday lottery draw, Wednesday was here in the blink of an eye. There had been no time to consider the the pros and cons of continuing to play it and I panicked. With my mind confused, it was impossible to make a balanced choice. Bewildered, I took a huge gamble and decided to play. The moment the numbers had been called I regretted it-what a disaster-never won a single penny.
If only that had been the end of it, that same indecision has continued for almost three months now. Twice a week my thoughts are in turmoil. I was able to calm down a little when I won a further £10, but overall, I'm well over £20 down since my huge win. Some people have won the lottery twice, but I doubt I'm lucky enough to join their ranks. My sensible side is telling me to stop playing, and I should listen, but my reckless side always has the last word and my fortune is slowly frittering away.
And that's not my only nightmare, I now have to worry about the crisis that Christmas will bring. In the past, I never once bought a round of drinks for my friends; if I break that habit they may feel I'm flaunting my money in their face. It's the same predicament with the window cleaner, milkman, refuse collectors and paper boy. Tipping for the first time could send them scurrying around the neighbourhood, telling all and sundry that I've become a flash show off?
I sometimes wish that someone else had won and I could simply have my pound back; however, it would be so selfish to saddle another with my problems. I'll soldier on best I can, someone, somewhere, may be carrying a heavier burden than my millions. My chauffeur does the lottery and I've began to worry about him winning. What would happen to me if he did? It's the same fear with my other staff, cleaners, au pair etc. Would they honour their verbal month's notice agreement. All I can do is pray they don't win, the pressure of finding new staff is something I don't need. Unfortunately, problems such are these will always be lying in wait for wealthy chaps such as me.